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thrash cowboy
02 January 2009 @ 11:18 am
jessica and i stayed here last night:

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and it was pretty sweet. this morning we had room service breakfast and it was also pretty sweet. we've been in atlanta for the last two days, will be in athens tonight, americus tomorrow, and birmingham on sunday. roadtrip 2k8/9 and it's been awesome so far. aside from two absolutely horrible hours in atlanta on new year's eve everything else has been awesome. kurt and i saw band of horses wednesday night, jessica saw tim barry and hot water music, we've eaten soul veg and spent more time/money than was probably necessary. last night we saw Let The Right One In at an old movie theater and it was the best movie i've seen all year (har har har). today before we head out to athens we're hitting up some yarn shops, the vegan store, little five points for a bit and a sweet indian restaurant in decatur.

hangin' out with far-away friends, eatin' tasty food, seein' some sights, buyin' some things, it's been pretty great.
 
 
Current Mood: geekygeeky
Current Music: fresh prince
 
 
thrash cowboy
11 December 2008 @ 07:49 pm
and while everyone else was miserable and kind of freaked out about it, today was the happiest i've felt in a while.

city park!!Collapse )
 
 
thrash cowboy
09 December 2008 @ 01:11 am
i cried a lot during the last thirty minutes or so of this movie, and dave was nice enough to not say anything about it. afterwards as we were walking back to his truck he asked me what i thought of it, and then kind of laughed and said that he'd get a better answer if he asked me that same question again in a week. i'm not certain whether i was in the right mood to have seen that tonight or in the worst possible mood for it.
 
 
Current Music: jawbreaker - like a secret
 
 
thrash cowboy
05 December 2008 @ 07:09 pm
thinkin' about roadtripping to this, who's down?

set it in motion
 
 
Current Mood: stoked
Current Music: olehole - ostinato
 
 
thrash cowboy
04 December 2008 @ 07:14 am
a good friend of mine got put in the hospital the night before last by her boyfriend. he had beaten her up pretty badly and cut her arm, she's got stitches and bruises and is still a little shaken up but is in surprisingly good spirits, all things considered. he was arrested and charged with battery and she's sure as shit pressing charges against him. i went over to her place for a few hours after work last night to bring her ice cream and hugs and there was still blood everywhere. her hands are still pretty messed up so i'm headed over to her place in a few minutes to help her get ready for work.

i still don't understand how a person can be that shitty to another person, especially someone that they claim to love. i've had my share of nightmare relationships (thank god they never got to the point of physical abuse but definitely were terrible all the same) and thinking about all of this in the last few days has made me pretty glad to not be with anyone right now. i guess that's kind of a blanket statement to make but i suppose you never really know how a person is until it could potentially be too late. i don't know. this whole situation is kind of depressing.




then i came home from her apartment last night and the guy who lives directly across from me was walking around his apartment completely naked with the windows open. it was a nice night last night but i had to close my blinds because of it. argh.
 
 
Current Mood: bummed
Current Music: npr
 
 
 
thrash cowboy
29 November 2008 @ 04:51 pm
a whole lot of super un-posi things happened on this trip home (anxiety attacks, lame family bullshit, holiday misanthropy, etc etc etc) and it wasn't the greatest but on the plus side jill gave me an excellent haircut (photos to come, maybe), i helped serve food at a homeless shelter on thanksgiving and i got to hang out with the coolest person i know:

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j's got an office at choke now because all the underground communique record label stuff is getting out of control and that's awesome! i'm so proud of him!

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i'm flying back to new orleans in a bit, getting in pretty late, then driving to the dragon's den to play a show. awesome.
 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: fionn regan - be good or be gone
 
 
thrash cowboy
04 November 2008 @ 10:16 pm
holy fucking shit.
 
 
Current Mood: excitedexcited
 
 
thrash cowboy
26 October 2008 @ 11:17 pm
so two years ago today that faceless monster cut his way into my home and changed things forever for me, taking away any sense of security and complacency i had and replacing it with fear and uncertainty. i think about what it was like in those minutes, days, months after... not sleeping for days at a time and having nightmares every single time i did fall asleep. waking up in the middle of the night at the slightest sound, pulse racing and head reeling at the thought that maybe he had found me again, even though i had moved to a new apartment in a new city, even though nobody else even knew where i was living (for the first few months, at least), even though he had already taken everything i had that was of any monetary value. being unable to leave the house after it was dark unless someone was with me. wanting to be by myself all the time but being afraid to be alone for more than five minutes. then the insecurity, paranoia, frustration, depression, humiliation, lost time, flashbacks, helplessness, anxiety, and the feeling that i had nearly every single day for a year that i was losing my mind.

i think about how things have been since then and i can say somewhat confidently that it's gotten better. the monster was identified and caught; he has a face and a name and a mother who should be ashamed of him and is now behind bars which is exactly where he should be... unable to ever completely destroy someone's life again the way he did mine. i'm still afraid of the dark, i still don't like going places by myself, i still get super frustrated sometimes, i still often feel like i'm falling short on a lot of things, i'm just as anxiety-ridden and insecure as i've ever been.

in dealing with this i have tried to make the best with what i've had and i'd like to think that i'm doing... okay. there are still bad days and i have accepted that there will always be bad days but i'm getting a lot better at dealing with them. i felt for the longest time that the only way to deal with this/anything really was just to maintain and keep a stiff upper lip but on the inside i was screaming and screaming and screaming and it only led to a breakdown some months later. there were/are times that i wish that coping mechanisms like that would actually work but since they haven't i've learned that sometimes it's necessary to actually talk about things with people. i have the best friends in the world, kids who have been nothing but supportive and patient and willing to listen at those times when i was freaking out and worried i was going crazy. without these kids i don't know where i'd be. not nearly as enriched, at the very least.


sorry for the pseudo rant/reflection, you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. i don't really know where i was going with this, i guess i've been doing a lot of thinking and remembering today, two years on and sometimes it still feels like the scars are fresh.
 
 
thrash cowboy
09 October 2008 @ 07:43 am
my mother was hospitalized for two and a half days, and only called to tell me after she had been released.
i woke up this morning with a nosebleed.
all sorts of people/things/places are starting to disappoint me in ways that they haven't before.
listen to more jawbreaker.
 
 
thrash cowboy
20 September 2008 @ 01:16 pm

Sir Ben Kingsley STOMPS into the shoes of Minor Threat's Ian MacKaye from Mean Magazine on Vimeo.




















also, unbroken/trial/disembodied/undertow/more tba in chicago, april 4th. HELL OF STOKED.
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused